I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
