similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
