Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
