I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
