I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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