don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
