Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize