what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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