If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
