I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize