I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
