508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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