beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
