Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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