i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
