what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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