omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I understand Curling. That high.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
