Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
