Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
