Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize