Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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