They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
