dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
