Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
