I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
