Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
