If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize