I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
