the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize