dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Found the puke drawer
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
