addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think i got beer on your cat.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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