Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
