Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
