Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
