the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's the barista slut.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
