I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
