as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
