I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
