your room smells of hookers.
And success
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
