i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
