the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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