Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there was a trapeze. enough said
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
