I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
