did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
