would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
