you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
