Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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