I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
