Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm really into asian looking animals
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
