But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
