I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
