She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's always time for handjobs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
