Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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