i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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