but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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