Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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