when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
