wake up i wanna do it froggy style
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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